ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Bad start to the day!!!!!!

I just had a really bad presentation with my placement case in the uni with the yr 2s....Damn...and to think my placement supervisor thought that it's a good case with flawless diagnosis, only to attract all the "no"s and the head-shaking in the audience, particularly with CW.

I can't really be blamed for that....we're suppose to share 1.15 hr between me and F and she took up 45 mins..that's left me with barely 30mins to go through the slides...it's crazy...CW and RS did not agree with the tests used and the diagnosis...WTF?????? They just don't like my supervisor, i conclude...

Lazing around

28th Sept 2011
Windy

Sitting at my desk at my placement clinic and just couldn't bring myself to do work..i'm in an open-concept office and my supervisor's not around, hence i don't feel the pressure to do work..which is bad since I have 3 more reports to complete by next week..didn't feel like writing the reports, hence thought i'll spend some time updating my blog.

Had a bad night's sleep last night..the wind's hurling and the noises are making me hallucinating..I forgot what i was hallucinating about, but i know that i've woken up several times in the night and everytime i woke up, i thought i saw some things on the wall..But i know i'm not psychotic..and somehow, sometimes when i see that, i'm always be clear-headed enough to say the Lord's prayer before going back to sleep...haha..

It's the grand finale of the AFL on Sat and unlike last year, i haven't been following it..perhaps it's because I don't have TV at home (oh well, i do, but it's being monopolized by my landlady)..Collingwood Magpies VS Geelong Cats...I wonder if it'll be like last year, where it's a tie for the 1st final leading to a 2nd final match..

Speaking of TV, my landlady recently showed off this digital TV set that she's bought from this China shop..she claims that she can bring the box anywhere to watch those Chinese channels from it..it's like Starhub set-top box..I was thinking to myself this can't be it..surely you need some internet connection to it for them to stream the shows..then she asked me if my internet connection in my room is affected..then i saw that the box was plugged into the internet modem that i've set up..luckily i bought the modem with 4 outputs!! Initially when i moved it, she doesn't allow me to install the internet, now, without the internet she'll not be able to watch those shows using the box...Now that she's sharing my internet, maybe I should charge her for that, since she's been charging me for the winter electricity bills when i've already paid her $50 extra in the rental bills to cover for the winter electricity fees...

Daddy has changed..

26th Sept 2011

Sunny

Haven't called home for a month (blame it on my laziness) so thought i'll call home this morning..Called daddy and the 1st thing he asked was "why did you only call back now? You always call in the beginning of the month". Hearing that, i was really apologetic...everytime when i called home, we never talked more than 5 minutes and i didn't think he would remember when i call back. But, daddy remembers. He always remember when i call back and how long i've not called back..In response to his question, i lied that i am having exams hence couldn't call back in time. The truth is that i thought he doesn't care hence i did not call back often..Sorry daddy! I know you've always cared for me from the bottom of your heart..I shouldn't have spite you by not calling back..Sorry!

This time round, daddy and I spoke about 10 mins..that's really a milestone for me as we never have much to talk about..i'll always ask him how're things and he'll say everything's fine and that's it, end of conversation. This time round, he took initiative to ask him how're my exams, how did i do for it, did i meet up with my friends, has my landlady gone back to Singapore etc...I can see the effort Daddy's making to connect with me..The only thing he's asked of me was to get nouggats back and he said he liked the hard ones (which i didn't even know about previously)..Suddenly i'm missing my family...i wish i was there with them now...but then on second thoughts, i feel that it's this being away from family that kept me closer to them..When i'm back home, it's so easy to neglect each other as you know you'll see them everyday...

Sorry, i guess i was too emotional now to write this blog. Perhaps it's due to the movie i've just watched: A little bit of heaven. I cried when Kate Hudson died in the end and seeing all the wonderful friends and family by her bedside, i wondered if my friends will be there when i'm dying..

Been marking the assignments for the past 2 days and my eyes are really popping out after that..have been asking them if they've any questions regarding the assignment and they all said no but submitted crappy work...What am i going to do about the students? Haven't failed anyone yet, cause i'm trying to be nice but someday, my patience will run out..

This post is for you, Sijin!

6th Sept 2011

nth day in Melbourne

Coldz

God! My greatest fear is here! I've actually lost count of the number of days i've been in Melbourne!! Does that mean that i'm completely blend into the Melby life or i'm demented?? Haha..my friends who are reading this would probably think i'm crazy...but i do think that it's a good thing that I've stopped counting the days and just living it..Now that i'm coming to the end of the 2nd year, i really feel that time has just passed so quickly..Soon, soon..i'll be back!

I've started my 2nd placement and although it's less stressful than the previous one, i still feel like it's not my cup of tea. This placement is less diagnostic and more rehabilitation-focused. It's not enough to just perform an assessment with the pts and send them off with a report. In this placement, i do alot of follow-up with the pts, checking out how they're doing with the strategies i've provided. I remember my 1st pt I saw at this placement. He's impaired vision, and got lost the 1st day of the assessment session. In the end, i've to go out and drive him back. He appeared fatigue after all that's happened and feeling a little bit down too! I saw him 2 weeks later for another assessment and he looked happier (and cuter). When i saw him the 3rd time, he was hyper! Apparently, he was treated with steroids days before and that made him hyper, feeling like he could conquer the world! What a drastic change! Today, I met him to go through with him some of the strategies i've provided for him and get him to list down some of the goals and strategies that he'd like to try for the next week to help him with his cognitive problems. Usually a doc would want his/her pts to be compliant and thinks that they are God, but when he starts agreeing with all I said and replied with "That's a great idea!" or "You are so perfectly right!", i begin to wonder if he's taken some drugs before meeting me...haha, i'm kidding! He's pretty optimistic about his condition and open to ideas that i put forth. But this is really the 1st time i've seen a pt so agreeable with me. This makes me wonder whether a good pt is one who just agrees with the doc, or who questions and challenges the doctor. Perhaps i would prefer the former, as that will make me feel that the pt has absorb all that i've told him and has adequate thinking skills to ruminate about the diagnosis.

Oh Sijin, i've read your blog! Really nice pics! But i was disappointed to not see some recipes posted...obviously you can't, it's copy-righted...but thinking back, i prefer your old blog..that was funnier..this one, very homely and all about your hubby! Where is you in the blog?? Haha..But i've enjoyed reading it!

Can't breathe!

20th April 2010

443th Day in Melbourne

Rainy

It's been a looooooooooong time since i last blogged..and i have stopped keeping track of the number of days i've been in Melbourne..Good Friday is in another 1 day, followed by Easter! Can't wait for the long-awaited break as i've plenty of work to catch up.

Had my mid-placement review with my supervisor and unit coordinator on Monday and it didn't turn out well...I don't want to elaborate on that as i was feeling sad after the review and had cried and prayed really hard to God, so now, i just want to forget about it and move on..Whatever the outcome is, i'll work harder! I'm not going to let this setback get to me! NEVER!

Work has been piling up and seriously, i think i've not gotten my work momentum back! Which is really bad as there are so many things i need to do but i've not done any of them...Georgia, my supervisor, have been asking me repeatedly when she can read my literature review and Cassandra, my other supervisor, has been waiting for me to show her some results, and then there are all the course assignments and patient reports i've to write...Gosh! maybe cause there are so many things i need to do that psychologically, i refused to do it as a sign of self-defense as the anxiety is too much for me to handle!

God, help me!

Is English really my 1st language?

14th March 2011

406th Day in Melbourne

Cooling

Submitted my 1st patient report to my supervisor today and came back with all the grammatical corrections. How embarrassing! She asked me at what age did I learn English and I said English is my 1st language. HOW EMBARRASSING!

Nice Landlady..

27th February 2011

391st Day in Melbourne

Rainy

I really thank God that i am staying with such a nice landlady...2 days back she made some 韭菜糕 specially for me as she said i have not tried it before and today, she cooked some fish porridge for me for lunch...Gosh, i really feel like i'm back home where my mum cooks for me...Initially i was worried if i will be able to get along with Auntie, but now, things seems fine so far..Guess the only thing is that i have to respect that this is her house after all and i can't do as i please.

Went for mass today and was really captivated by the gospel today (Mt 6:24-34)

"That is why i am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and how you are to clothe it. Surely life means more than food, and the body more than clothing!...Your heavenly Father knows you need them all. Set your hearts on his kingdom first, and on his righteousness, and all these other things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I felt like God's speaking to me through this mass...I am always worried about material things, like petrol, food, money, clothes...etc and i seem to have neglected God in the process. Even as i pray to him every night, thanking Him for the day, i never failed to add in my wish list too...God knows what i need, that i believe, so i should just leave everything into his Hands for i know He will be there for me! But, i'm always asking him for favors, which as i'm reflecting now, shows my inadequate faith in Him..

Sorry God! I have absolute faith in You. It's just that when troubles seem to much for me to handle, i get lost in it and completely forgot that You are and also will be looking down at me and watching out for me. I think for this year, this will be my resolution. Never waver in my faith in God!