1 week after Depression...

25th February 2010

Thursday

25th day in Melbourne

Cold in the morning and Hot at night

It's been a week since i've experienced that down feeling...Although i've told myself to be strong, but I still called back to Singapore to talk to my best friend that very night..and in the end, i still cried! I know it's really no big deal, but i just felt so sad that night and i don't dare to call Daddy because i've already promised him that i won't call home crying and i don't want him to hear me crying over the phone too...But i guess that bout of crying helps in venting my frustration and helplessness over here and I'm glad that i did cry that night. And thanks to many friends out there who update themselves on me through the blog and wrote me touching and motivational e-mails and msgs..Thanks Cindy Mummy and ZH!

Minn and I officially moved into our new apartment on Sunday. Our furnitures and appliances only came 2 days later but we've made do with whatever we have. My room and her room is such a huge contrast. Hers is so girly and sweet, while mine looks like masculine, like a lesbian's room..hehe..No serious, it's really different. I'll take a pic of the apartment and my room when the tidying's done..You may not believe it but we're in the 4th day of doing up the apartment and the clock's still ticking...the carpet's not vacuumed, the toilet's not cleaned, clothes not hanged up, plenty of things not done. I've just gone through the whole day today lining up all the kitchen drawers and cupboards...now my shoulder's aching really badly.

Class will officially start on this coming Tuesday and when i was in school 2 days back, i was greeted with all these freshmen and newbies (though i'm also a newbie) going around the school for orientation and games..My postgrad orientation is how to keep to the graduation time-line of 3, max 3.5 years and the endless date-lines to meet! I'm envious of these young people..

Terribly Missing Home & Friends

18th February 2010

Thursday

18th day in Melbourne

Sunny & Chilly

Today i miss home and friends soooooooooooo much.....so many things have happened for the past 1 week...I've collected the keys to my new apartment, went around so many places looking for 2nd-hand goods, traveled miles to meet up with potential supervisors and collaborators...And the outcome? Minn doesn't like the new apartment, can't find a cheap king-single 2nd-hand mattress and bed, no research finalized with anybody at anywhere.....

When i came back home today, I'm in my autistic mood...just kept to myself, didn't feel like having dinner or talking to anyone...I'm really feeling like crying now...there's no family or friends to ask me what's wrong, nobody to ask me if i'm okay and if i wanna talk about it...and this is the exact moment that i really want to have my room in the new apartment..I'm still bunking with Minn's friends and they're her friends and not mine, so naturally they do not have to bear with my autism and i really hate to impose on them. I really needed my space now, to be alone where i do not have to care if there are any people around...so i really want to move out of this rented place and into the new apartment, even if i've to sleep with the sleeping bag, I don't mind...really! For the 1st time, i've realized the helplessness of being alone in a foreign land, with nobody around to help me..and these are also the times when i feel i've made a wrong decision to come to Melbourne. Perhaps I'm really greedy to ask so many things from God and this is the punishments i'm getting..

Lord, I'm really feeling discouraged now! Can you show me a way out? I'm really tired to doing everything myself with no help at all! There're times when i feel that i really needed someone to guide me, and there's just no one out there and i feel fear of carrying on walking this path. All these uncertainties are not what i've expected...Maybe i was too optimistic in the beginning.

Finally ate the Ba Kwa....Satisfied :)

12th Feb 2010

Friday

Cloudy

Had my 1st meeting with my potential supervisor, DA, at Royal Park (For those not familiar with Melbourne, this is the place you go to visit the Zoo!)..and I was lost! Walked up the wrong way and ended up having to walk back down the hill and was late...Meeting with the legendary DA is amazing and he truly lives up to his reputation...I was overwhelmed by him and his 30mins non-stop speech...Thank god that his staff KE is there and being a neuropsychologist, she understands what i need and the help and resources i hope to get from DA..I must say this meeting has been fruitful, though not conclusive, and i seriously hope to get my research finalized asap..

After the meeting, took a tram to city cause was meeting Minn and Jiaying for shopping and got chatted up by this old Aussie man..he seems like a really kind man and thanks to him i'm able to get to the Flinders station from the tram station...He gave me his calling card saying that i can call him anytime for lunch or if i'm lost in the city! Gosh...what a "kind" fellow!

Took a walk along the city river and happened to see the CNY bazaar in the city...Plenty of new year goods being displayed but they are really expensive! Saw a stall selling Ba Kwa!!! Oh my god! I've been wanting to eat my Ba Kwa in Singapore before coming here but i never had the chance...finally saw someone selling it and i immediately bought a slice. You guys know how much does it cost for that slice? It's AUD$3!!! OMG!! It's seriously expensive! But when i first bite into that Ba Kwa, I felt so satisfied!!!!!!!!! Really, no joke man! Though i must say it doesn't taste as nice as those in Singapore (no burnt smell, heehee!) but i still feel really happy after eating it..Along the street, I also saw stalls selling "Cai Tou Kway" and it cost AUD$7 for a plate k? No matter how much i crave for it, i just can't bring myself to pay $7 for that....

Gosh, i'm starting to miss Singapore's food already! When ppl tell me that i'll definitely miss the food in Singapore, I don't believe them and now, I'm truly missing Singapore food!! Sobz Sobz

THE NEW APARTMENT!!!

11th Feb 2010

Thursday

Thunderstorms

Today Minn and I finally signed the lease to our new apartment!!YEAH!!!!

The minute i saw this place, i really like it...it's a 1970's double storey townhouse and the owner has just re-painted it all white...When i went to inspect the house, renovation works are still ongoing and they are doing up the bathroom with new mirror and cabinets...

Level 1 is the living room and kitchen while the 2 bedrooms are upstairs with 1 bathroom. We've a pretty big backyard (in the pic) and a smaller frontyard in front of the kitchen so while we're doing up the dishes, we can see the garden..It's really cosy for 2 gals! Luckily Minn likes it too because for the 1st viewing, I went alone and luckily the agent agreed for a second inspection so i could bring Minn to view it...Thank GOD she likes it too so i don't really need much effort to persuade her :p

Though it's a little over our budget, but i guess we can survive with this little increment, as long as i cut down on other expenses..And I need to spend some money to do-this little heaven-to-be and my room...

Wanted to get the house-keys on the 1st day of Lunar New Year but alas, the agents need some time to steam-clean and clean up the house so i can only get the keys on the 16th Feb'2010. Then we need to disinfect the whole place ourselves and to do some more detailed cleaning so hopefully we can move in on the 20th...

Can't wait to move in!

Flood in the house

6th Feb 2010

Saturday

Sunny and hot

Haven't been washing my clothes for the past week so i thought it's time we wash our clothes...however, we didn't know how to operate the machine so Minn has to e-mail her friend about it.

Finally around 1am her friend replied and we thought since we're still up, we should just wash the clothes and it only take around 30 mins to wash it and hang it outside...5 mins into washing, Minn shouted that the kitchen's flooded with water...and true indeed, water was flowing from the laundry room into the kitchen! Oh my god! The rabbits are just outside the laundry room in the kitchen. The last thing we want is to drown the 2 rabbits!

Both of us were in a flurry mood, so we quickly tried to drain the water out as soon as possible. Minn used the mop while i'm trying to use the mat to absorb as much water as i can...I've already placed a mat around the rabbit's cage but unfortunately, it still got wet and the rabbits were spraying water on me and Minn and refused to go up to the 2nd level of their house...

It's really a mess and it took us 2+ hours to clean up the whole kitchen. Well, good lah, cause' we both have wanted to clean up the place before her friends come back and now's the chance...but the rabbit's cage was wet and both Pumpkin and Yuki refused to move for us to clean the cage that is filled with their shit in water....oh my god! Minn and i had to slowly move the cage out, took out the transparency under the cage, took it outside, wash it, and clean all their shit in the kitchen too! It's really disgusting! And in the midst of cleaning, the rabbits shitted regardlessly! We cannot believe how long it took us to clean up the whole mess!

Though it's a tiring 2 hours, but Minn and I felt so energetic after the clean-up...We only slept at 4am and you can imagine what time we woke up on Sunday morning.

1st Birthday in Melbourne

Today's my 2x birthday and i'm spending it here in Melbourne!!

People say that good things always happen on the birthday and since it's once in a year, you should treasure it...well, it guess it's true. Minn and I slept in today as we're both so exhausted after the 2 intensive days of orientation and workshops, and finally there is nothing going on today, hence we wanted to laze around for a bit and later on go on our house hunt...

Woke up at 12pm and managed to talk to Daddy for a while using the webcam....Finally, the 1st time i can see him and he can see me on the webcam...thanks to cousin Herman really..But they were rushing off for breakfast and could only talk to me for 5 mins....i was so sad...is breakfast more important to them and they don't miss me at all? Sigh!

Then Minn and I went to an apt for viewing and we got lost...Have already told her it's the other direction but she insisted on walking upwards...sigh! The apt's so old and i really don't like it...though it's pretty cheap but hey, i value the cleanliness of the house more..Then we wanted to go to this housing agent for help and we walked for 10 mins but couldn't find it....the sign they hanged was so misleading! In the end, we walked from Richmond station to South Yarra station....do you know how far that is? It's like walking from Bedok MRT to Simei MRT!! In the end, all the agencies were closed!

Both of us were in a really bad mood after the walk and i just felt so pathetic as it's a day full of drizzle, dark clouds and hungry stomach...Minn and i were standing at the covered way, she's eating her cereal bar and i, a sandwich...it's so pathetic rite?

Then we decided to go to the city for a nice dinner as it's my birthday..we chose this italian place for dinner and besides the mussels, the risotti is not so good...i can't finished my rice and can't pack it away either...sighz...there goes my money!

When i told Minn that i don't feel lucky on my birthday, she said: "C'mon lah, I treated you for dinner k?"...guess i'm glad that i'm not alone here in Melbourne...I've made a friend called Minn.

EXPENSIVE FOOD!!!!!!!!!

Attended a workshop at Monash today and went for lunch with Minn at the student centre (apparently the place for cheap food and groceries). We're shocked at how much the food cost there!! Sandwiches for $7, pasta for $9, beef noodles for $8...it's incredibly expensive!!! Finally Minn and I settled for the chinese food and guess how much?? it's $6 for 1 dish + rice! Oh my god!!! And the serving's really small and all they do is that they put as much of the dish on top of the rice in a container and there you go, $6 lunch that is...Minn and i decided to pack our own lunch from today onwards...nothing fanciful, just sandwiches!

Met Rene Stowlyk today and he's just sooo niceee!! (and boyish looking :P)...no matter if i get to do my research under him or not, i'm still thankful for his help so far...another cute looking professor is Adam McKay...he's really cute...but he mumbles during his workshop...I'm also grateful to Jennie Ponsford and the administrators at Monash (Cheryl, Nichola etc)..they've been very helpful and i can really sense their concern and worry for me...and they've been going all the way out to help me...thank you to all of you! Muacks!

First Day in Melbourne

Finally arrived at Minn's friends' place...really big and neat....really thanks to her friends for letting us house-sit for them while they're back in Singapore/Malaysia for the vacation...We'll stay here for the time being until we find our own place to live..Minn and i are sleeping in the same room at the time being and it gets really dark at night...I'm really glad that she's here as well. Oh! There are pet rabbits in the house too! 2 of them...i'm not a big fan of pets but i do find them quite cute...the dwarf rabbits...

The first day is really a day of exploration for the both of us...we don't know where to go and how to get there..We went to explore a little of the suburb we're currently staying, and took the trains to the city...the transport is really expensive man....the public transport is divided into different zones and different zones have different rates for the buses, trams and trains. For an 2hr trip ride, it's AUD $2.80 (zone 2 only) and on the 1st day, i've already spent AUD $6.80 for the daily ticket, just to the city and back...sianz!

The weather's chilly today, which is unusual as it is the summer over here in Melbourne...hope it stays the same tomorrow too!

Moving to Melbourne...

Moving to Melbourne hasn't been easy for me....leaving my beloved family and friends, a stable job, the food and comfort behind, and setting up everything all from scratch sounds exciting, but trust me, it's full of uncertainties and turmoil...

The last day in Singapore has been filled with last minute shopping and packing...had a nightmare that my luggage is 60kg at check-in so quickly went to buy a weighing scale....thank god...it ended up with only 25kg...wanted to put more things but can't close the luggage...sigh! What's the point of it having able to pack 30kg to Melbourne..

Irene sis brought my Sheen and Shan to my place to check out my progress during the evening...guess the whole family's worried that i'm still packing at 5pm, when the flight's at 1025pm.. Actually i've bathed and finished packing (almost), and i was writing a letter to Daddy before i leave so my eyes were actually red from tearing...Only managed to get to Aunt's place with my huge luggages at 6pm and Irene sis bought a cake to celebrate my birthday in advance..So sweet of her! And for the 1st time, my nephews and nieces sang the birthday song for me...I'm really sooo touched!

When the whole family went down to airport, each of my family members gave me an ang bao to wish me a safe trip...then i called Lisa to bid her farewell but she didn't pick it up and i was a little relieved because i know i'll cry if i get to talk to her..And when she called back, true indeed i fought really hard to contain my tears and managed to end the call without crying...At that point, i realized that it's so hard to say good-bye..

Ping sent me off at the airport but she's the only friend i've allowed to send me off...what to do? She's my best friend wor....actually i really don't want her to come to send me off cause i really don't want to feel sad for leaving my best friend behind in Singapore, and not able to be there for her for a long time, especially now that she needs my help and support the most...Sorry best friend. I'll emotionally support you whole-heartedly over here in Melbourne k?

I really thought i'll burst out crying at the departure gate..my tears really started flowing when all my nephews and nieces came to give me a really big hug with their small hands....and Daddy gave me a hug too! that's sweet...

The minute i entered the check-point, the feelings of loneliness really struck me hard...as i was pushing the trolley with my heavy baggages, i started tearing...because of this sense of being alone, i actually left one of my bags at the trolley as i check in at the gates...then i suddenly realized that i'm not holding a bag in my right hand and quickly rushed out to collect it...luckily it's still there..phew!

Somebody took my seat and silly me didn't realized and went to sit at the other aisle seat. Then the air steward came to move that guy somewhere else and the person supposed to sit at that aisle seat came and the air steward wanted me to move back to me original seat...but as my luggages were a hassle to move, i asked that guy to take my original seat instead..but the whole commotion is so loud and i was really embarrassed.

Flight at Emirates is not enjoyable at all..the world-class touch-screen tv doesn't work and i can only sleep my way through the whole journey..there're soooo many movies that i want to watch...sianz...at that point, i was starting to feel that my journey alone to Melbourne is a mistake...And those air stewardess and air stewards are always knocking into me as they push the trolley past my seat, or when they bend down to serve those sitting next to me..I was really irritated man..Could GOD be telling me that i shouldn't have board the flight and go to Melbourne??

Flight was slightly delayed, and it took me almost 2 hours to clear the check-points, collect my bags and clear the inspection...luckily i went for the aisle for declaration and it's shorter...

Finally met Hui-Minn, my new found best friend and course-mate in Melbourne...glad that we've both arranged for the airport pick-up to her friend's place..God...this is just the start of my Melbourne journey and i'm starting to feel exhausted already!